CREEPING, casually

CREEPING and hearts

CREEPING: I see you

We live in the digital age. This is not a new fact. Creeping has become a regular part of my vocabulary – instead of looking something up on the internet, I “Creep” the internet. With the thousands of different app’s across iOS and Android, creeping, stalking, and awkwardly obsessing is incredibly easy.

Not sure about the guy you met last week? Google him. In less than 30 seconds (provided you have a reliable internet connection) you can find almost everything you need to know about him, at least on paper. Facebook him and find out you have a mutual friend- SCORE! Check in and see if he’s a player or has any other questionable characteristics. Does he pass your list of requirements? If not, then its on to the next one, no questions asked. What happens, however, when everything looks great on paper? You can’t go on a date with all of this insider information without looking like a creep. No one wants to know that you heavily spied on them before a first date.

Enter online dating. I don’t think there is anything wrong with online dating, I did create my own dating ad (HERE). Give it a few more years and it’ll be considered normal thanks to sites like Eharmony or Match.com. If you aren’t quite ready for the full commitment online dating sights require (read: money) here is a list of FREE “dating” apps for all of your “dating” purposes.

Tinder: Tinder finds people in your area (thank you location services) and shows you one to five Facebook photos. Swipe left to cross someone off your list. Swipe right to give them approval, or a heart. If you both “heart” each other, it’s a match made in app heaven. If you want to chat, feel free.

Grouper: Go on a date with two of your friends and three random men (or women). You sign up with your Facebook profile and Grouper matches you. Grouper sets up the date and gives you drink coupons. Show up with two of your friends and hopefully your match works out. Worst case scenario? You get free drinks with some awkward/creepy/interesting fellas. Best case? at least one of you has a date next weekend.

Lulu: for girls only. Connect to your Facebook profile and see all of your closest friends. Other girls rank ex boyfriend, flings, and friends on appearance, personality and the other important aspects of a relationship. How big are his hands? Did he buy you flowers? Did he like your friend instead? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 At First Sight: Dating app created by Chris Harrison from The Bachelor. The iTunes description defines this app as “a revolutionary new dating app where everyone has a video profile. It’s addictive, fun and guarantees what you see if who you will meet in real life”. Needless to say I haven’t made a profile, yet. I can’t NOT be awkward in a video. rose

THIS is how I will be the Bachelorette. In an interview with Ryan Seacrest, Harrison reveals “I could see this turning into a way to cast the show. If someone was phenomenal on this app and we thought they really fit the profile of what we’re looking for, it’s a great way to find people not only in life but maybe for The Bachelor, as well.” I guess he doesn’t explicitly state “YES NENNY. Sign up and be the bachelorette, season 30” but that’s close enough for me.

Have you tried any of these apps? Did you find love or maybe just a hot date? Share in the comments!

Read the interview with Ryan Seacrest HERE

MWPMU: The Art of the “SELFIE”

The “”selfie”” has become increasingly popular and significantly more annoying with the rise of social media. People enjoy showing off to their peers or to their fans, should they be famous, or “insta famous”.

If you follow me on Instagram (follow me here !) you can see that I don’t take very many “selfie’s”. When I do, they end up being incredibly awkward. I don’t understand that art of the “selfie”. How do you take a great photo while holding your phone out in front of your face? The front facing camera isn’t great – at least not on my iPhone 4S. It’s pretty difficult to get a great “selfie” using the back camera. How many photos is it acceptable to take before posting your next “selfie” work of art?

Apparently, the “selfie” started by the one and only Sir Paul McCartney

paul mccartney selfie

It looks like he is pulling one over on America – it is estimated that the “selfie” has actually been around since 1900 with this fine lady.

1900 selfie

Celebrities are HUGE fans of “selfie”s. I’m sure all of the likes and comments they receive on each photo helps grow their egos.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner believe they have mastered the art of the “selfie”. Their advice? Use your smartphone and don’t stand directly in the sun.

jenner selfie

Miley posts “selfie’s” on the daily, SMILERS are often gifted with more than one.

miley selfie 2

Ryan Gosling might be too cool for “selfie”s. But since he is so nice to look at, here is a wonderful picture of him.

ryan gosling

Feeling really great today? Need another ego boost? Go ahead – post a “selfie”. But be warned, everyone avoids the person at the cocktail party who can’t stop talking about how great they are. Reality check: you probably aren’t that great.

My advice: if you really want to post a “selfie”, make it as awkward as possible.

hello awkward

hello awkward

 

Have any “selfie” advice? TEACH ME YOUR WAYS.

P.S Don’t forget to “Like” A Nenny Life on Facebook 

 

Of “All Hallow’s Eve” Past

In the Ventura County Star yesterday, I found the “US Halloween Sales Forecast”. SURPRISE! People spend a TON of money on costumes.

According to this article, an estimated 158 Million people will celebrate Halloween. These 158 million people will spend an estimated $2.08 Billion on candy, $1.96 billion on decorations, $1.04 billion on children’s costumers, $1.22 billion on adult costumes and $330 million on pet costumes. PetSmart has that on lock with so many cute costumes this year, from the typical but ever adorable pumpkin to a french maid costume – put that on your french bulldog.

Based on these figures, believe it or not, people are spending less on Halloween this year than in 2012 – adding up to approximately $20 million less. If you break it down per person, however, each person cuts their spending by $5 on average. Although that’s nothing to write home about, it is one more Coffee Bean friday, great job 2013.

In honor of October and these Halloween figures, I dug up some old photos of some GREAT halloween costumes in the Simpson household.

The Great Butterfly Princess and Tweetybird:

halloween 1

Scared of the rain Batman

halloween 1-2

Raggedy Ann

halloween 1-3

Do people still use this costume?

And my personal favorite, make sure to check out my bangs. Real confused with this one

halloween china

Do you have any great or classic costumes? Let me see them!!

Netflix versus Novel: Orange Is The New Black

Photo on 9-30-13 at 8.24 PM #3

I heard about Orange is the New Black through the grapevine and was immediately intrigued. Mother Simpson and I binge-watched the entire season over two weekends. This doesn’t sound like a lot, but there are 13 one hour episodes. Half-way through the first episode I was hooked. I had to know what happened to Piper Chapman and I desperately wanted to know who else was in prison and how they ended up there.

Naturally, Piper Chapman, the protagonist is in prison for an old crime and was not transported to prison by force. She does not have a history of violence and she looks like a typical “rich white girl”. I believe the producers wanted her to be the polar opposite to the type of people typically in prison. It is important to note that these inmates were not in a maximum-security prison. They were not convicted of murder and were not considered to be a danger to themselves or others, for the most part.

The season is full of flashbacks which give the audience some insight into their beloved characters. Some characters are lovable in a love to hate kind of way (i.e Pennsatucky and the prison guard with the porn-star mustache). Other characters, such as Poussey and Tasytey, are just plain lovable and the producers have done an excellent job at leaving you in the dark as to what crimes they have committed.

The show does an excellent job at playing with all of your emotions. There is romance, death, drugs, abuse, forbidden relationships, mean-girl cliques and moments of sheer joy. The atmosphere presented in the Netflix series shows that of a prison segregated by race or by sexual preference. These groups break down into different cliques, where you are often advised to stick to your own kind. Don’t follow the rules? You might be starved-out, you might not get your laundry washed or you might be violently confronted in the shower. It’s best to stay inside the lines, wear shower shoes, and don’t question anyone- the guards or the prisoners.

Following the grand finale, I was curious, intrigued even and I needed to know who the real Piper Chapman was. I needed to read Orange Is The New Black.

The author’s name is Piper Kerman. She did serve a year in prison for a 10-year-old drug-trafficking offense. Her time in prison, however, is incredibly misrepresented by the wonderful Netflix production.

The novel is written like a memoir, full of political undertones and weak suggestions. I understand that Kerman spent a year in prison and that our prison system needs to be adjusted. There are countless articles, studies and reports on the state of our prisons, the psychological effects on human beings who are held in solitary confinement and the list goes on. It is an issue that approximately 60% of inmates are re-incarcerated within 3 years following their release (FOX 43). It is common knowledge that the US prisons are past capacity. In California alone, Governor Jerry Brown recently requested more money from the federal government to help fund the influx of prisoners.

I am not an expert on prison life. I don’t have family in the system. I have never been inside a prison or a jail. I understand that I am relatively uninformed on the subject and the lifestyle during and after a prison sentence. While Kerman did serve time in prison and she does understand the inner workings, she is also not an expert. She served time for a 10 year old crime. She is also not part of the 60% of inmates that return to prison. I believe this is largely due to the fact that she was raised in an affluent area, she had a huge support system and she had a job and a life waiting for her on the outside. This type of support is not often found among other inmates.

The real issue I had with her book, was that she spent more time discussing the injustices of prison life and less time on her actual experience. Perhaps this is my fault, I read the book incorrectly assuming that we would hear what really happened to Piper Kerman and more about her characteristic inmates.

Ultimately, I feel that the book fell flat. There wasn’t much substance to her story past the political statements she made regarding prison life and the justice system. I do respect her decision to make such statements throughout the novel, although I don’t agree with the frequency of these comments. It would have been better organized and far more entertaining if she kept those types of statements to one particular chapter or section of the book, instead of peppering them throughout. At a certain point I didn’t want to keep reading, Kerman’s position had been made extremely clear and it was evident that the story wasn’t reaching any type of climax. But I kept reading. I had to know what happened when Piper ran into her ex-girlfriend (and I HATE not finishing books). Netflix had one side of the story, but was this at all similar to her encounter on the silver screen? Unfortunately, it was not. The encounters between the so called “star crossed lovers” in prison were anticlimactic.

While Kerman stood out from a majority of the other prisoners, she was not alone. A “welcome wagon” helped her get used to her surroundings. She had a huge support system on the outside; her fiancé had gone so far as to create a website dedicated to updating the public on Kerman’s stay in prison. She was not attacked and was never sent to the “SHU”. She did not have a lesbian affair with her old girlfriend and her fiancé did not leave her. What’s interesting is that she is a writer for the show, given credit for all 13 episodes. It is evident that she took the stories of her fellow inmates and embellished them for entertainment – I am very glad that she did, otherwise Orange is the New Black would not be the great success that it is.

Final Verdict: Netflix wins. Be ready, season 2 is expected in 2014.

As for the book, read this with low expectations; it is worth reading to understand Kerman, she is responsible for the show after all.

Did you read or watch OITNB? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Watch OITNB on Netflix

Find OITNB the book here

Want to learn more about Piper Kerman? Click here

FOX 43 prison statistics article

Mid Week Pick Me Up: Miley Does It Again

I’m not embarrassed to admit, I’m most definitely on Team Miley Cyrus. Although her VMA performance was somewhat entirely unexpected and a bit raunchy, she definitely got her point across. Everyone needs to cut her some slack – her hunky fiancé broke up with her only to be caught philandering with some model all over Vegas less than a week later. She’s 20 years old. Unlike the rest of us, she didn’t have her college years to be stupid, party too hard and make some questionable decisions. I’m not saying that I would prance around stage with a foam finger (and I’m sure this will make another appearance), but I’ve been known to throw down some AWFUL dance moves that make everyone cringe.

This week Miley is in a wonderful Rolling Stone article, although I’m not sure why she chose to get Rolling $tone tattooed on her feet. She is also featured on “23” by Mike Will Made it – although by watching the video, I assumed this was her song.

Lets be clear – I am NOT a fan of rap music. or whatever category this fits in. I don’t always understand what they are saying and I feel completely ridiculous attempting to sing along. Side Note: it goes without saying that Jay Z is the exception.

I have to admit, I’m kind of sort of really feeling this song. I didn’t understand that they were talking about Michael Jordan at first, we can chalk that up to a blonde moment, and I wish she would quit smoking, it is not sexy or attractive or badass. I’m not really sure what “high on perp” means. Its one of two things: one, “purple drank” or two, she’s psyched on the fact that she could be a perpetrator or a criminal. She should steer clear of both choices. I’m pulling for Miley to make it past the Lindsay Lohan “welcome back to rehab and jail” stage or the Britney Spears circa 2007 stage. It helps that Queen Britney is team Miley.

TEAM MILEY.

p.s Don’t forget to “like” A Nenny Life on Facebook !

Mid Week Pick Me Up: An Open Letter to Jeffery Campbell

My dearest Jeffrey:

Let me start by saying how much I adore your shoes and the brand as a whole. They allow me to get in touch with my inner “hipster”, as much as I hate that word and all of the interesting connotations that go along with it. I spent almost 6 months searching for the regina wedges in my size – I had almost given up when Nordstrom came to the rescue. Great news for me ! Now I wear these almost as much as my oxfords. I thank you for that.

shoe obsession

shoe obsession

I have one minor issue with your brand, the cats. Why are there cats on and inside of every single box? The pink lid and the classic Jeffrey signature are wonderful. But the cats. They get me every single time. and not in a good way.

Do people actually adopt the cats listed on the inside of the box, resembling the “help-wanted” section of the newspaper? If your goal is to get consumers to adopt animals and keep them from abuse and starvation, why not reach out to ALL animal species instead of the cats that scour the internet?

The least you could do is include dogs. Who doesn’t like puppies? Just put a few puppy pictures in there and every girl or boy who purchases your shoes will melt. It’s almost impossible for women and certain men to look at pictures of puppies without cooing at them. Imagine the amazing things that could happen if you put all of these puppies together in one place for your consumers to play with and potentially adopt ! I already have an adorable puppy, but I don’t think I could resist another precious little puppy face.

It would probably help if I explained my distaste for cats. Simply put, they just don’t like me. Every cat I have ever been around has hissed and scratched and clawed at me, provided they still had their claws. Apparently large cats can smell fear, making it a definite possibility that these awful feline’s detect my displeasure. Dog’s on the other hand, they love me. When you come back from vacation they are always happy to see you. Leave them outside all day? No big deal. My puppy has a grand old time playing in the dirt. Cats? Beware. they might be eaten by a coyote (although this also applies to my puppy. she’s too small to go outside alone in the dark).

Lucky for you and lucky for me, I can get past the cat box. Just keep making excellent shoes that always fit perfectly.

I do hope all of the cats and kittens get adopted. Best of luck,

Your crazy fan,

Nenny

P.S I like surprises. It would be a HUGE surprise to see a puppy picture inside my next purchase.

P.P.S: This is my adorable puppy Dixie (sorry for the flash!)

IMG_2384

Signing on the Dotted Line

*Disclaimer: I bought a new car this weekend. This does NOT make me an expert on the subject.*

Buying a car is an incredibly stressful process. Before you hit up all the dealerships on the block, it’s best to sit down and set a budget, clearly defining your down payment and the max amount of money you can afford per month in payments. Once your budget is clearly defined you should begin to research cars on the market and determine what type of car is in your price range. Are leather seats a requirement? Do you need navigation? Do you want a sedan, coupe, SUV, convertible or something else? Does color matter? Do you need heated seats?

There are many resources on the internet to assist you in finding your perfect car. I recommend Edmunds.com – It’s easy to find the reviews for a particular car as well as the recommended pricing. Once you have narrowed down the parameters for your future car, set aside a few days (entire days, ex: saturday) to spend at the dealerships. It is important to test drive a few vehicles, even if you are 100% sure that the first car you drove is THE car.

Pimp my ride ?

Pimp my ride ?

The Auto Mall in Westlake Village is the biggest Auto-Mall in this area. I spent a good portion of Saturday and all day Sunday driving from dealership to dealership, only to end up at Calabasas Acura 101 West. (I highly recommend them. They were incredibly professional, patient and very kind. It also helps that Acura’s are great cars).

The car salesmen (yes, all men) that I met last weekend fall into three separate categories, or generalizations:

The Awkward Turtle: This salesman is courteous enough to be friendly, but not entirely genuine with his delivery. He is openly nervous and a little uncomfortable with this environment. Don’t be surprised if he talks too much about little things or if he continuously apologizes for himself, even though he’s done nothing wrong. While polite and altogether pleasant, this particular salesman doesn’t come across as particularly knowledgable.

On the plus side: He isn’t aggressive, which means there is no added pressure to buy a car.

Mr. Prada: You can spot this fish from a mile away. He has greasy, slicked back hair and he may or may not be balding. Keep and eye out for brown, rounded square “Prada” shoes. Chances are he will see you before you see him, you can’t escape. Mr. Prada will do anything he can to ensure that you find a car you want, or at least one that you like enough to spend a nice chunk of change on. He won’t understand why you like one car more than another, generally because he doesn’t care to find out.

Unfortunate Attributes: You may feel guilty for not buying a car. Just smile as you slowly walk away

Benefits: He WANTS to sell you a car. You may get a killer deal just so he makes his numbers.

Mr. College: My personal favorite. Usually, this particular salesman is young, attractive and incredibly helpful. He knows its not in his best interest to push and does whatever he can to make you comfortable with the car and everything involved with the purchase. With his charm and good looks, its an easy job – Women (including myself) are initially blinded by the attractiveness of the salesman and often miss the first part of the pitch. There is a lot of paperwork and time involved in buying a new car – it doesn’t hurt to have something nice to look at while you wait.

Confession: I bought my car from Mr. College. He was very cute and he might have been Jewish (his last name was questionably Jewish)

 Another thing to remember when you purchase a car: additional warranty packages are not always necessary. According to Forbes, these warranty packages are often sold with a 100% mark up. If you are worried about the electronics or other warranty-covered parts of your car breaking (especially on used cars), take a look at third party warranties. Third Party Warranties often cover the same parts and labor of the manufacturers warranty for a fraction of the cost (SOURCE). Remember to ask the dealership how much the extended warranty really costs – they have a tendency to talk in terms of monthly payments, which makes the warranty seem significantly cheaper.

Buying a car in the near future?? Best of luck! Share your car salesmen stories in the comments below!

For more information on car shopping, check out EDMUNDS

Don’t forget to “Like” A Nenny Life on Facebook for more exciting content !! (and pictures)