As it turns out, you don’t just get to wake up one morning and suddenly become an astronaut, a nail polish namer, a prime quidditch player or a famous boy-band fangirl.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about my dream career and I have had a “Stroke of Genius” (full novel coming soon). Unfortunately, the rules and guidelines around these parts forbid me from sending my excellent life plan to The Travel Channel or Bravo for consideration. I even checked with MTV as a LAST RESORT, and they too were “too good” to hear from me. Apparently, you can’t share any of your ideas with people in the industry unless you have an agent or a manager. If you choose to send them your ideas anyway, they are allowed to steal you ideas without any repercussions. Clever, clever move on their part.
For kicks and giggles, check out my compelling plea to The Travel Channel:
Dear Travel Channel Geniuses,
You need me. You need me to really get in touch with a potentially awesome, and much, much younger audience.
Two of my favorite travel shows happen to be created and presented by you. Anthony Bourdain is great. He crass, rude, and always knows where to get some good old alcohol. Andrew Zimmerman is jolly. He eats weird foods in the strangest of places.
Both of these shows revolve are men. Not just men, but older men. One with a terrible drug fueled past, and another who reminds me of my uncle. He always has candy and plenty of bear hugs. For men and older women (and I guess myself) this is great. People love to watch, especially when Andrew eats some strange bug or animal part and is a great sport. I attribute this to the fact that it would be incredibly rude to tell these indigenous people that the food they create and cherish is terribly foul and disgusting, but I digress.
I believe you need a younger, and relatively attractive female to really up the ante on your travel shows. If i may be so modest, I fit this part. I know i fit this part because I have created it for myself. It’s genius. 100% genius.
Before I get carried away, I should introduce myself. My name is Jennifer Simpson. I am 22 years old and was born and raised in the wonderful part of the USA called Southern California.
I don’t have a boyfriend, in part because I am incredibly picky and because “ain’t nobody got time for that”. This is GREAT news for you – I have nothing to hold me back AND I can teach people the ways of single-girls from America. I am an avid Lakers fan, I have a soft spot for boy bands, old and new, and macarons are my favorite foods, as are cannolis. Please, treat me to these delicacies in their native countries, France and Italy. A single girl in France is practically begging for a TV show, hell, that story line writes itself.
In order for this show to be successful, i need to find my niche. It’s quite simple really – Single girl eats her way across the world in search of the best food; snacks and desserts, maybe with a few specialty cocktails along the way. Ideally I would interview other young successful women, and of course, sexy foreign men on their quest to become the best of whatever profession they so choose. Since this will be on camera, you and my wonderful audience will be entertained by my array of facial express as well as my hilarious and eloquent way of talking.
The upside of this plan is that this show doesn’t currently exist. Who better to travel the world in search of the best snacks than me? There is never a bad time to snack, be it in the morning, afternoon or the middle of the night.
For your ultimate consideration,
Ms. Jennifer Simpson
I was planning on including this image to show how much I love to snack
Here’s to hoping the Travel Channel needs me. If not, there’s always Kickstarter.
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